What? I jolted
back to reality as I heard Father Greg deliver the rest of his homily with
conviction. Whenever I performed stand-up on a Saturday night, I often
fell into a state of exhaustion during Sunday’s church service as soon as I
heard the words, “Please be seated.”
I was alert now as Father proclaimed, “I
want to repeat this so everyone understands. If God gives you a gift, you
use that gift to the best of your abilities. Never let fear stand in the
way of accepting God’s gift and sharing it with others! You go with the fear!”
There were those words again. I knew this was God’s way of talking about
something very important to me. It all
sounded familiar from years ago but how did God know I was still in
hiding? I had taken a leave from performing because I couldn’t stand the
performance anxiety. I thought I could camouflage myself next to the
other soccer moms and pretend it all never happened. Even though standup
comedy was one of the true joys of my life, I was very much in denial.
Seventeen years of performances across the
country had been full of adventure and good times, but I let fear win. I quit
the business. I was hiding and keeping quiet. But now, in church today,
God caught up with me. He jolted me back
to reality and He was talking really loud!
“Never let fear stand in the way of
accepting God’s gift and sharing it with others!”
I was sure that God was talking to me
about my comedic gift. No one suspected
my insecurities because I knew how to carry myself. The night I filmed my segment of Showtime’s
Comedy Club Network at Zanies in Chicago, I felt overwhelmed with both the
stress of performing and raising my young children. In the past six
months, my weight had dropped significantly and I looked gaunt. I studied
my reflection in the mirror. “This cannot be a healthy way to live,” I
thought. “Why am I doing this to myself?” And the answer was always
the same. “This is what makes me tick.” In my self-questioning, I
held onto a vision of the performer I could become.
The Showtime taping went well but at a
cost. I was emotionally drained and I continued to lose weight. I
grew weary and gave up the fight. I let fear win. I quit. I
hid from my dreams.
Nobody could understand why I ran away
from something I loved so much. It seemed quite a mystery. But today God found me hiding in His
church. He had a voice in Father Greg and He was using it. There
was no denying the seriousness of this message.
----------------------------------------------
http://humorousspeakersbureau.com Sally Edwards is the president of The Humorous Speakers Bureau marketing corporate comedians and funny keynote motivational speakers.
http://sallyedwards.org - Laugh to Good Health
http://comedybysally.com - Clean Corporate Comedy
No comments:
Post a Comment